The ‘sandwichers’ are getting pressed: among those Americans who support both their parents and children, the majority are moving the goalposts on their retirement.
A recent survey by Athene found nearly three-quarters of so-called ‘sandwich generation’ caregivers have adjusted their retirement goals to support family members.
Many of them are woefully unprepared for what’s ahead. Less than a quarter of the Athene survey respondents (24%) reported having a written retirement plan. Meanwhile, nearly a third (30%) worry they will rely on their kids’ financial support in retirement.
As US social safety nets strain under pressure, the population ages, and the economic outlook remains uncertain, this lack of preparation could carry serious long-term consequences — not just for individuals, but for the next generation who may be asked to shoulder the burden.
Financial advisors say the issue is showing up more frequently in client conversations, as sandwich households are stretched thin. They share prudent steps on how to ensure one’s own financial success while supporting family members.
Stacked Triple Mission
Unlike actual generational groups, ‘sandwichers’ are defined more by their life circumstances than their year of birth. Athene defines them as middle-aged (40-59) people who provide financial or care to both adult children and elderly relatives. Marcel Miu, Simplify Wealth Planning founder and lead wealth planner, says the sandwich generation has a triple mission: their kids’ education, their parents’ long-term care, and their own retirement.
“Without strict boundaries, they risk bankrupting their future to pay for the present,” Miu advises clients to secure their retirement first. “I call this the financial oxygen mask rule. Think about it – you can borrow for your kids’ college, but you cannot get a loan to fund your retirement.”
“Most adult children have no idea what their parents’ estate plan looks like, whether a power of attorney exists, or how long-term care would actually get funded. By the time they find out, everyone’s already stressed and scrambling to make expensive decisions under pressure.
Intergenerational Living
As costs increase, shared living becomes more practical. What was once a cultural or personal preference is increasingly an economic necessity; households look to pool resources, reduce costs, and manage caregiving responsibilities under one roof.
According to Pew Research, multigenerational living has increased 3 to 4 times over the last half century (from 1971 to 2021), and now encompasses 18 percent of the US population. According to the National Association of Realtors (NAR), 17% of homes sold in 2024 were purchased by multigenerational households — the highest proportion on record.
“When housing, healthcare, and education expenses are all running in parallel across generations at the same time, sharing a roof can actually make a lot of financial sense,” says Tyler Abney, managing partner of Tidemark Financial Partners. The families that make it work go in with real structure and clear expectations. The ones who skip that conversation tend to regret it.
Have the Talk
There is a danger in not communicating clear long-term strategies.
Albania Espinal, founder of Alegre Wealth Management, says many don’t discuss money with their parents and then get blindsided when their parents are in financial need.
“Sandwichers need to have open conversations with their parents to make them aware of their financial situation,” says Espinal.
She says it’s normal for people to feel pressure to help their family, but setting financial boundaries is critical to avoid guilt and to help you understand when you can step in.
These emergencies often expose knowledge gaps. For instance, Miu says most families avoid discussing the difference between rehab and long-term care and mistakenly believe Medicare covers nursing homes.
“It rarely does – custodial care falls to Medicaid or comes straight out of private savings,” he explains. “Families need to discuss how they will fund this care long before a health crisis happens.”
Living Inheritance
While health costs are a great expense for their elderly parents, their children face major costs such as housing, education, and starting families.
Many American parents, seeing the pressure their children are under, are increasingly responding by handing over assets early. The idea echoes those popularised by Bill Perkins, author of Die With Zero, which argues that wealth should be deployed to deliver the greatest impact while one is still alive. Financial advisors say this “living inheritance” approach is gaining traction, though it must be balanced against retirees’ own longevity risk and income needs.
“For clients with the means to do it thoughtfully, transferring assets early can reduce estate complexity, lower potential tax exposure, help adult children at a time in their lives when they actually need capital, and allow parents to witness the impact firsthand, says Charles Luong, president of Endeavor Advisors. “The keyword is thoughtfully. This only works when the parents’ own retirement income is secure first. You give from abundance, not from anxiety.”
It is critical to plan ahead, but fewer Americans are. According to Caring.com’s 2025 Wills and Estate Planning Study, the share of Americans with a will has declined since 2022 and is now below 50%.
“Trying to be fair is great, but one-off support to certain children and not others not only adds up but doesn’t go unnoticed by the other children,” says Paulo Lopes, founder of Woodmont Financial Partners. “If possible, try to document the unequal support so that it’s treated as an advance on their inheritance. This should help mitigate confusion and resentment.”
The pressures facing the sandwich generation show no sign of easing. As costs rise and safety nets strain, the need for earlier planning, professional advice, clearer communication, and firmer boundaries becomes critical. Without it, today’s balancing act risks becoming tomorrow’s financial crisis — not just for one generation, but for those who follow.