A necklace may not be much to fight over, but it all depends on who it belongs to. This one, according to a Reddit post, belonged to a 23-year-old man’s grandmother. It was the one she wore every single day, and before she died, she made it clear who she wanted to have it. That person was him.
But here’s where it gets complicated. He couldn’t make it to the funeral in Canada, he says, because work wouldn’t give him the time off. While he was gone, the rest of the family divided up her belongings at a gathering he wasn’t there for. The necklace wasn’t part of that. About a year before she passed, his grandmother had already handed it to his sister, telling her to pass it on to him once he was old enough.
So he waited. He was around 21 then, and his sister apparently didn’t think he was ready for it yet, so he gave it time. Two years went by. Then, last week on Mother’s Day, his sister finally did something with the necklace. She gave it to their mom.
His mom didn’t deny what his grandmother wanted. She said she remembers the instruction perfectly well. Her plan is to keep the necklace until she dies, and then hand it down to him. He said okay in the moment, then went quiet and checked out. Is he being selfish for wanting it now? That’s what posters responded to in the comments.
It Was Never Just About the Necklace
family troubles (inheritance related)
by
u/Specialist-Line8497 in
WhatShouldIDo
Strip away the jewelry, and you get to the part that actually bothers him. His grandmother singled him out. Out of everyone in the family, she chose him to carry this one thing. What stings, he says, is that his mom and sister have brushed right past that. The necklace is her initial, which happens to be his too, so it wouldn’t be a keepsake gathering dust. He’d wear it every day.
There’s also a trust problem at the core of this problem. The poster doesn’t believe the necklace will ever actually reach him. When his mom passes someday, he’s convinced his sister will step in and try to claim it again. So the promise that he’ll get it eventually doesn’t settle anything in his mind. To him, it’s the same wish being ignored, and another problem entirely.
Redditors Couldn’t Agree on Whether He Was Selfish
Many commenters took the poster’s side, pointing out that his grandmother named him specifically, and overriding a clear wish like that is just wrong. Others weren’t so gentle with their replies, with a few telling him to let it go, that it’s only stuff, that his mom just lost her own mother, and deserves something to hold onto. One even floated the old line that the kids get the family heirlooms before the grandkids do, and that does track, but only so far.
When it comes to what he can actually do, the advice got calmer. There’s no legal recourse here, really. His grandmother’s wish was spoken out loud and never written into a will, with only his mom and sister there to hear it. That leaves him one real move: tell them plainly how much this hurt, instead of saying okay and shutting down. A few people pointed him toward therapy or keeping her memory alive in other ways. For now, the necklace is with his mom, and his question is still wide open: will he get the necklace that’s rightfully his? That remains to be seen.