People have become quite selective about their food choices. Whether carrying a bag of dehydrated kale like doggy treats or swearing that pickle juice boosts the immune system, some nutrition advocates don’t know when to stop.
For some reason, food can often imitate fashion. Some products are the culinary equivalent of wearing ripped trousers. Deep down, we know we don’t like it, but we carry on nonetheless.
Of course, food is defined by personal taste and is highly subjective. Yet, most of us can agree that some of these foods are just offensive.
1. Snails
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Escargot is a French delicacy that receives lots of mockery from its British cousins over the English Channel. Not many English people would walk through the countryside, see a snail, and think, “Oh, that looks delicious; I must grab it.”
Their cross-channel cousins, however, might do the opposite. Snails must be purged before sautéeing in ounces of butter, garlic, and herbs that make them palatable. It’s a hard “non” for me.
2. Stevia
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Stevia isn’t some millennial pop star from Soundcloud but a synthetic form of sugar without the fattening qualities of unrefined sugar. Some might liken stevia to joining a weird cult: once you’re in, the calorie counting might take over.
Stevia, to me, tastes to me like I’d rather have bad teeth: give me real sugar or honey any day. “It tastes just like real sugar!” said nobody ever. No disrespect to the Paraguayan tribes that brought this marvelous product into the world; just not in my coffee, thanks.
3. Candy Corn
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Surely nobody likes candy corn, do they? Does anyone enjoy the yellow-painted, stick-to-your-teeth, mediocre-flavored gum candy? (It turns out yes, over 60% of Americans like it; the rest of the world not so much.) Chances are, you grew up eating candy corn at Halloween parties, then went many years without eating it.
The next time you partook, it tasted sickeningly sweet with a stale texture and fake honey flavor. Surely kids deserve better candy than this?
4. Indian Pale Ale
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Indian pale ale derives from former British Indian beer shipments expiring on the long ship journey. The hops were added to preserve the liquid, producing that signature bright flavor. It was all too much for Dave Infante, who wrote for Thrillist back in 2014 about how vexed he was with the trend. Citing the after-effects of this gassy product on one’s stomach movements, he couldn’t hide the disdain.
“At the merest hint of an India pale ale, I’m overcome with loathing so severe, it’s all I can do to resist smashing every tinted longneck in sight,” he wrote. “Why can’t I just enjoy it? Why does every single IPA make my gut bubble like a jacuzzi full of soup?” Dave wasn’t happy.
5. Celery
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Firstly, I have never understood the appeal of munching on raw root vegetables; celery’s invasive, obnoxiously perfumed flavor is just too much for my humble taste buds. The best places for this aggressive flavor are hidden deep in a pasta sauce or just left on the supermarket shelf.
Even then, those with a strong celery note detector in our pallet can taste that weird, pungent note. Sorry to celery fans. To some of us, celery is the loud talker at the dinner table, drowning out all the polite chat. (It’s also one of the most hated veggies, just in case you were wondering.)
6. Chitterlings
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For those unaware, chitterlings are boiled or braised pig intestines that can be stuffed and refried or added to an organ meat stew. They are a mainstay of Southern cooking, no doubt born of necessity and not so much choice. Let’s be honest, Southern cooking is incredible, but someone missed the mark on this one.
The smell alone would have anyone without knowledge of the ingredient running a mile. It’s a sentiment shared by Southern Kitchen’s Ryan Shepard, who grew up watching his grandmother cooking them. “First of all, they smell like a rotting corpse,” he writes, and that is where we can leave it.
7. Caviar
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Does anyone enjoy eating caviar? Caviar is one of those elite foods that rich people eat because it’s called caviar; I am not sure people love it. Those who do should eat it with a spoon made from bone, as metal can’t taint the flavor.
“When you chew it, the taste it excretes is unbearable,” writes Shaixxa for Medium. “I would rather go hungry than eat that. There are so many other things to nourish myself with.”
8. Salted Licorice
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Believe it or not, many Europeans and Americans love licorice, though it takes a hardy palette to withstand salted licorice. There is a spectrum to this weird ingredient, with mild going to the strongest, peppery, salted version.
In any event, licorice is very good for you in its raw form, according to Healthline. However, that’ll take some finessing to make it edible as a tea or tincture.
9. Grapefruit
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When did the breakfast grapefruit scam begin? Somehow, millions of people wake up to eat a bitter citrus fruit with a spoon. Here is an observation: if grapefruit were so delicious, why do people cover it with an inch of sugar?
Furthermore, even MedicineNet discusses the health risks involved, as this fruit is highly acidic. “Grapefruit contains high levels of potassium, meaning people with kidney infections should approach it with caution,” it states. I mean, whose idea was grapefruit again? Give me a sweet pomelo any day.
10. Oysters
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Like snails, it takes a certain kind of person to enjoy oysters (there are plenty of people who love them, and plenty who won’t touch them). While some salivate at the thought of pouring a slimy, living mollusk down their gullets, the rest of us will wait until they are at least fried in breadcrumbs.
I have a shell to pick with oysters: are they a food or a drink? If you eat a piece of food and don’t chew it, is it still food? I will relegate oysters to the same category as caviar: food for show, not for enjoyment.
11. Kombucha
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This form of fermented tea is a modern phenomenon. It was made famous by the “Kombucha King,” GT Dave, who started his operation just before the new millennium arrived. There is no denying its health benefits, but the taste and smell can be intense, to say the least.
Fan platform Brewbuch likens the aroma to “mild vinegar,” though admittedly, it doesn’t taste as tart. Still, each to their own; it isn’t something many of us would choose if water were another option.
12. Kale
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A humorous post from food blog Awesomely Luvvie gives kale a description that reads like a letter to a friend. “I know ya’ll love you some kale but I have had it on more than one occasion,” she writes. “I wonder if the person who offered it to me really likes me.”
Kale got superfood status some time ago, and that kind of glow-up doesn’t happen because people suddenly crave the taste. The fibrous texture and grass-like flavor need too much assistance in the form of butter and garlic to be acceptable. Kale chips are passable, but raw kale salads are for diehard superfoodies.
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