When it comes to family drama, it seems like nothing stirs the pot faster than the division of assets after someone has passed away. From who gets the house, to how the money is split, people can quickly turn against one another, destroying decades of happiness and memories.
One woman says she’s in the middle of this exact situation after learning the details of her mother’s estate. She took to Reddit to share her story, posting in the popular r/amiwrong Subreddit. According to @material_help3154 the issues all started when her mother changed her will just before she died, leaving the OP a bigger inheritance than her two siblings.
But things hit a fevered pitch after the OP’s mom died and they began divvying stuff up. She explained her mother’s reasoning and wrote that she made the decision after the OP was her mother’s sole caregiver for four years, often tending to her when nobody else would.
Now, the Redditor wants to know if she’s in the wrong for keeping a larger portion of the inheritance or if she should divide the extra evenly between her siblings.
Redditor Says She Kept More of Her Mom’s Money After Four Years of Caregiving
AIW for splitting the inheritance unequally because I was the only one who took care of our dying mother?
by
u/Material_Help3154 in
amiwrong
The OP shared her post, explaining about all of the doctor’s appointments, late nights, and grocery shopping trips she juggled in the four years as her mother battled “a long illness.” Despite having two siblings living a few hours away, she wrote that visits were few and far between, and that the duo always had excuses, even when the OP explicitly asked for help.
“Before she passed, my mom updated her will with a lawyer and left me a larger share of her estate because she said she wanted to acknowledge everything I had done for her,” she wrote in her post. “My siblings were shocked when they found out and immediately accused me of manipulating her, even though I wasn’t even in the room when she met with the lawyer.”
The OP went on to say that her siblings are even telling other family members that she stole their inheritance, causing a bigger rift to form amongst the immediate family.
“Part of me feels guilty because I hate how much this has divided the family, but another part of me remembers all the birthdays, holidays, and weekends I missed while caring for our mom when no one else would help,” she concluded her post before asking if she is in the wrong or simply following her mom’s wishes and taking care of herself for once.
People Are Team OP
You almost never see people on Reddit unanimously agree on anything, but the majority of the people who commented on the post seemed to side with the OP.
“Count up the hours you spent caring for your mom. Multiply that by the amount a paid caregiver would charge,” one person wrote. “Present them with the bill. Tell them you’ll split the estate evenly, but subtract their share of the caregiver costs before you write the checks.”
“You’re not wrong at all. Your mom wanted to give back for everything you did for her and that is what she did,” another person wrote. “Tell your siblings to kick rocks. Keep your head up and eyes open even if your knees are shaking. I’m very sorry for your loss. Please don’t change anything about your mom’s wishes. She wants you to have what she left you.”
Contesting a will can be challenging, according to MetLife, and there are certain conditions that need to be met before you can even try. While it does sound like the OP’s siblings could take this route, it does sound like they’d have an uphill battle unless the siblings can prove that the document is invalid as opposed to simply disagreeing with what it says.
Unfortunately for them, it may be too late for them to realize just how much their mother recognized their absence in the years before her death, but maybe it will make them more aware of how important she valued that extra time and make them reconsider how they handle other family illnesses in the future.