When it comes to issues between landlords and tenants, they can get quite ugly. From landlords who try to evict their renters while they are on vacation to renters who stop paying their bills, it’s not always shocking when things get tense at home.
However, one woman says she’s trying to find a way to approach a tricky situation between herself and her renter by asking for advice on a popular parenting message board called Mumsnet. In the post, member869894 shared how she wanted to approach her renter about how much he uses the washing machine.
According to her own post, she’s not very good at confrontation and wanted to avoid offending her tenant, so she was hoping to crowdsource some ideas. Fortunately, it seems like the members of Mumsnet are actually pretty good at this sort of thing, because they offered up some really good ideas.
Best of all, many of these can also be applied to other hard conversations in life. That makes a lot of these pearls of wisdom actual treasures when it comes to communicating with people about possibly sensitive subjects.
The Mom Called Her Issue a ‘First World Problem’ in Her Post
The anonymous member didn’t mince words when she wrote her Aug. 11, 2026, post. “I have a lodger,” she began her query. “He’s nice enough, but he uses the washing machine four to five times a week. This morning I’ve come downstairs to a lone pair of shorts in there swishing around.”
It’s easy to understand why this mom might be frustrated with that, especially since the cost of utilities is going up around the world. That means she may be paying a pretty penny for that water use, which can really break the bank.
A Poll on the Topic Showed That Most People Thought She Was Being Reasonable
The post featured a poll about the issue, which posed the question, “Am I being unreasonable?” According to the results, 82 percent of the 534 voters were decidedly on the OP’s side and thought she was well within her rights to ask the tenant to cut back on the amount of laundry he does.
While 18 percent did think she was being unreasonable, the folks in the comments who asked her to reconsider her request mainly seemed to be questioning whether the tenant paid the utilities or not, with one person saying that if the rent payment included utilities, she may not be able to push back.
Commenters Said That She Should Be Direct But Give an Explanation
It seemed like most of the advice suggested being straightforward, which is generally a good way to go with these types of conversations. “Doesn’t need to be a confrontation,” one person wrote. “Just suggest he saves his washing to do a full load, which is more economical—there’s a cost in terms of water and electricity plus detergent, and I’m sure he’s aware of cost of living stuff.”
“Maybe use the current water shortages as a reason,” another person suggested. “Tell him you are very much against waste (power and water)?”
According to the National Park Service (NPS), the average home washing machine can use around 41 gallons of water per load. That can add up, especially if you’re doing washes multiple times a week. If you’re worried about wasting water while doing the wash, you may want to consider cutting back on the number of loads you do and avoiding those single-item wash cycles like the OP’s lodger.
As for the tenant, the OP later updated her post to say that she plans to say something to him, but in a way that keeps things from becoming awkward between them. Here’s hoping it goes the way she’s hoping it will.