It’s not unusual for people to take their nightmare neighbor stories to Reddit to ask for help. In fact, you can find quite a few of them in an aptly named subreddit about them (IYKYK), but it’s unusual to find people posting about neighborly advice in the landscaping subreddit.
However, that’s where user coltonamort ended up when they were looking for advice on how to handle a neighbor that has some funny ideas about what is allowed along their boundary line. And while the OP says that they’ve been able to get along for the most part, often using the neighbor’s mom as a middleman, this latest interaction has them looking for some help from Reddit.
The issue at hand is the fact that the OP wants to do some xeriscaping, but the neighbor’s mom says to hold off for a while to avoid ruffling her daughter’s feathers.
The good news is that Reddit was full of great advice (and some not-so-great advice) that should help the OP navigate this situation when the time comes to break ground on the xeriscaping design.
Need advice – Neighbor’s mom warns us not to landscape our own yard for fear of a “grudge” — how do we proceed fairly but firmly?
by
u/coltonamort in
landscaping
The Redditor Says That Their Neighbor Constantly Removes Stuff From Their Yard
According to the OP, they have been struggling with their neighbor’s feelings about their yard since they moved in two years ago. “We share a property line with a neighbor who is very particular about that boundary—on a few occasions she’s removed items from our side of the line (things clearly on our property) and dumped them in our driveway or the street,” the post began.
The OP went on to explain how having direct conversations with the neighbor hasn’t gone too well, so they’ve resorted to going through her mother when it comes time to communicate. “Now we’re planning to xeriscape the section of our front yard that borders her house, and when we mentioned it, her mom advised us to hold off—not because there’s an actual boundary problem, but because she’s worried it will upset her daughter and create a grudge.”
The OP went on to ask for advice on how to handle things without starting a fight, but while also disliking the idea that they have to ask for permission to do things in their yard.
People Almost Unanimously Suggested the OP Add a Physical Boundary Line
For the most part, people encouraged the OP to install a fence as a physical reminder of the barrier between the two yards. “With a professional survey done so you can prove it’s on your property/the property line,” one person added.
“I had a neighbor for 20 years who obsessed about the property line,” another person who was in favor of the survey and fence combination idea wrote. “He would tell my wife not to put anything near it.”
While a fence is likely the OP’s best solution if they want to be able to do what they want with their yard without having to worry about their neighbor interfering, it may not actually be the best option for xeriscaping. According to National Geographic, these gardens rely on creating a landscape that will reduce or eliminate the need for extra irrigation, often relying on native plants, hardscaping, and water flow control. A fence could impede some of that planning, but it still may be the best bet when it comes to keeping the peace with their neighbor.