The art of being a good guest is knowing when the appropriate time to leave is. However, acting as a good host is being kind and welcoming and politely letting your guests know if you need them to go (honesty is always better than being passive-aggressive).
If politely asking guests to leave is not an option, sometimes people will resort to hinting that the visit has run its course. Ultimately, they are intentionally trying to make their house guests feel unwelcome and walk out that door.
It can be disheartening to be on the receiving end of these actions, however, a host may feel obligated to act as such because of circumstances beyond their control (aka some guests that just don’t know when to take no for an answer). Here are actions that will likely end your guests’ visit without you saying it out loud. We gathered these ideas from forums and our own experiences.
1. Displaying Verbal Dislike for Guests
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Mentioning how much you dislike having guests in their presence or right before they arrive is a golden ticket to guests’ discomfort. The guest is bound to cut their visit short or cancel it altogether after such a revelation.
2. Reduced Interest
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Deliberately losing interest in the guest and the conversation will make the guest uncomfortable immediately. A host may resort to ignoring the guest, offering one-word answers, or just making grunts instead of conversing.
3. Tinkering with the Temperature
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Keeping the temperature uncomfortably warm or cold will definitely send the signal that the guest is no longer welcome. A host who cranks up the heat in summer until the house is unbearably hot is trying to show the guest the way out.
4. Offering Expired or Low-Quality Refreshments
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What better way to let a guest know they don’t have any chance of refreshments or staying for long than pulling a box of expired milk from the refrigerator? Showing guests that your house isn’t offering anything good to eat or drink can shorten their stay.
5. Not Offering Food
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Making a cup of coffee for yourself in the morning, offering none to the guest, or not offering lunch or dinner when the guests are in the house instantly sends the message that they’re not welcome (anymore) This might vary depending on cultural differences and personalities, though.
6. Not Making the Guest’s Bed
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Few things will make a guest feel unwelcome than walking into their sleeping quarters to find unmade beds and being asked to make them. This tells them their visit wasn’t anticipated or appreciated.
7. Forgetting Their Arrival
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Forgetting your guests’ arrival tells them you didn’t think it was important enough to calendar and remember. An online forum contributor suggests not being home when the guest arrives if you have visitors who can’t take a hint.
8. Early Morning House Chores
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If you wake up to vacuum at 5 a.m. or wash and bang dishes as loudly as possible, you’ll surely have your guests leaving in no time. Not giving visitors time to rest or interrupt their beauty sleep will send the message loud and clear that they’re unwelcome.
9. No House Tour
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If you provide minimal information about the house rules and amenities, the guest will not be overstaying their welcome. They will feel out of place when you don’t take the time to show them where everything is or give them a basic rundown of household operations.
10. Being a Critic
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No guest wants to walk into and stay in a situation where they’re criticized for everything. If you critique their choices subtly, such as decor or clothing, the guest will most likely feel unwelcome.
11. Sarcasm
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Sarcasm can be fun and witty, but it can also be hurtful when it’s intended to. Making sarcastic remarks about a guest’s preferences makes them feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.
12. No WiFi
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WiFi is like oxygen today; many people don’t know how to survive without it. It’s almost an unspoken house rule we share with our guests, especially if they ask. Keeping the WiFi password a secret until asked multiple times is an excellent way to make them feel unwelcome.
13. Selective Amnesia
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It’s welcoming and kind to provide guests with everything they need when they’re under your roof. Conveniently forgetting to provide essentials like towels or toiletries will cause the guest to second-guess their visit.
14. Constantly Checking the Time
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Do you want your guests to be out the door before they can finish their glass of water? Keep checking your watch. You can even add a frustrating sigh for effect.
15. Showing Little or No Enthusiasm
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Every guest wants to believe their visit is wanted and appreciated and that their hosts are happy to have them. Looking bored or even irritated in the presence of a guest is a passive-aggressive way to make them feel unwelcome.
Passive-aggressive behavior can lead to discomfort and strained relationships. A better approach is to address any concerns directly with an open discussion, although it may not always be possible.